Your Mantra for Mental Health Awareness Month...

May is Mental Health Awareness Month (who knew this has been a thing since 1949? Not me!)

The purpose of Mental Health Awareness Month is to raise awareness (obviously!) and to educate the public about mental illness and important statistics, including the #s and info that will best serve anyone in crisis or suffering the realities of living with these conditions; and strategies for attaining mental health care and wellness.

A few stats from Mental Health America’s 2022 findings:

Suicidal ideation continues to increase among adults in the U.S. 4.58% of adults report having serious thoughts of suicide, an increase of 664,000 people from last year’s dataset.

Over 2.5 million youth in the U.S. have severe depression, and multiracial youth are at greatest risk.

Over half of adults with a mental illness do not receive treatment, totaling over 27 million adults in the U.S. who are going untreated.

The percentage of adults with a mental illness who report unmet need for treatment has increased every year since 2011.

It also aims to draw attention to suicide, which can be precipitated by mental illness. Additionally, Mental Health Awareness Month strives to reduce the stigma that surrounds mental illness. Amen to that. There is no stigma when it comes to suffering in the world we currently live in. Being human is incredibly hard. Normalize this.

It’s amazing how straightforward information and numbers can make us feel so much less alone. That said, as a life coach, it’s my responsibility to point out that mental illness (as categorized by the DSM-5-TR, which is the standard classification of mental disorders used by mental health professionals in the United States) must be diagnosed by a professional therapist or psychiatrist. If you need more information about the differences between these professionals and a life coach, or just a referral – I’m here for you. There are so many diagnoses these days… but, here’s the thing, I don’t see a person as a diagnosis. We are so much more than that. And it might take a village to get someone to where they want to be – thriving, shining, and living an authentic life. I am front and center when it comes to that village.

In my opinion, this month (and every month) is not just about ‘mental illness’ but about mental wellness! It’s ok for us – and for anyone, anywhere in the world– to say, “I have social anxiety, “I get depressed,” “I need alone time” – and most importantly – “I NEED HELP.” Because we all experience more of these issues than anyone lets on (take it from a coach), and being able to open up is the first step to taming the beast. You’ve got to name it to tame it. If you don’t make time for your mental wellness, you will be forced to make time for mental illness. FACT. But, as a coach, I recognize that sometimes ‘illness’ is temporary – like Covid? Or the flu? – and sometimes it’s chronic. I’m here to help you figure that out. You don’t know until you start to explore what might be driving certain thoughts, behaviors and patterns in your life. You have to work at it.

I love how Queer Eye’s Karamo Brown explains it in this clip… once you start working on your mental health, “the world opens up for you and you feel so alive.”

While mental health is an enormous topic and one that undoubtedly goes beyond the breadth and depth that I can cover as a life coach, I want to share one of the best tools I have found that help my clients when we discuss the kinds of psychological and emotional hiccups we all experience, regardless of our overall well-being and mental health – moments of depression, anxiety, self-worth, and imposter syndrome.

It’s pretty simple, and it’s a great starting point. Repeat after me: I am enough.

I first heard this phrase in the GBTQ men’s group I facilitate for EVRYMAN. One of our members shared with the group that this is what he says every morning in the mirror. It struck me as so simple yet incredibly profound. Three little words which are completely validating. And they are true. No matter what has happened up until this point, no matter what you’ve thought of yourself or been told, no matter what you’ve done or had done to you – YOU ARE ENOUGH, just as you are. As I started hearing clients share about how imposter syndrome is flaring up at work and socially as the world reopens after the worst of the pandemic, as they talked about how mentally-crippling body dysphoria is keeping them indoors, or anxiety is stopping them from walking into a room full of strangers, I have suggested this mantra. Clients usually pause, then smile, but ultimately struggle with saying this out loud. We aren’t used to self-validation! There are a lot of things on the list that we – as a country, as a society, as humans – need to normalize but, to me, this mantra, this mindset, is way, way up there! So let’s embrace it. You are enough!

I am not the only one preaching the power of these three words – this children’s book by Grace Byers was a New York Times bestseller. It starts out, “Like the sun, I am here to shine.” How lovely to start the day with these words! If we take it a step further, self-care, self-confidence, self-love, and the knowingness of being here to shine as our most authentic selves exactly as we are, are just a few elements that should be part of our mental wellness toolkits – breath, movement, meditation, connection, community might also get thrown in the mix. We all have a different toolbox – of things that might (and eventually, do) work for us. It takes practice and a leap of faith to figure it out. But knowing we are enough is where it starts. Add and subtract as you see fit – as you work through it with a coach, a friend, a family member, a therapist. Again, so many practices and people can be in your tool kit. And it can change over time. It’s fluid. To me, this kit – the awareness of my arsenal – is indispensable! It takes time to build. It’s an exploration. It’s trial and error. I’ve built it – it’s ever-evolving. And you can too.

Start now: I am enough…

Now, I know this little mantra isn’t going to solve all of your problems… because guess what? You have to believe it. I had a client recently – who I saw as an amazing human being, flawed and fabulous – who had a hard time saying this mantra with any kind of conviction because he didn’t really believe he is enough.

Pause.

This is where my heart breaks – because he IS enough, always has been, and always will be. But – YAY – this is when I get to be of service, which is my calling in this world. It’s the moment when my coaching tools come into play. This is where I get to re-discover my purpose again and again. This is when I help him find the absolute truth. HE IS ENOUGH. Just as he is. Even in this moment, as difficult as it may be. This is actually a moment that will – not to use a tired cliche – not kill him, but make him stronger. On the tail of a recent breakup. In between jobs. Fighting with his parents. Low on money. Unsure of what comes next. Feeling like there’s nothing to live for… so many hiccups. So many tough moments. But we are working on finding the things that make life worth living together. We figure out next steps. Baby steps to be sure. But it’s forward motion. And all of a sudden, we’re aware of mental health. Where he’s been (low) and where he’s headed (sky’s the limit).

This moment looks different for every client. From daily meditation (simply being with yourself and not avoiding alone time) to challenging yourself to seek out community, from daily gratitude lists for yourself and your eyes only to having someone to talk to and share out loud (whether it’s a life coach or other professional or friend) – the point is to figure out what your mental wellness kit looks like. Because what we all agree on is that bottling up your feelings, escaping, denying, hiding, retreating, or aggressively expressing helps absolutely no one, most important YOU.

So give it a go for a week. Before you brush your teeth, just say those three words out loud. I AM ENOUGH. Write them on a post-it note and keep it on your computer, or use it when you are meditating, simply repeating “I am enough,” over and over as you breathe deep and let those words become a reality. I promise, you are. Just as you are.

Think about your mental wellness tool kit. Think about what’s working, what’s not and what might you add if given the chance. The weight of the world, the state of the world needs you to be okay and to be enough. Shore up now! If I can be of service to you, I am here. In the meantime… YOU ARE ENOUGH. Know it. Believe it. Here for you.

Resources:

Suicide Prevention

Mental Health Resources/Treatment

Mental Health Resources for the LGBTQ+ community

MYNDUP- Life coaches for individuals and businesses