Balancing the Being and Doing

One of the biggest challenges most of my clients face is balancing leisure and work, or ‘being and doing’. We live in a world where we ‘think’ that we have to work until 11 pm to prove our self-worth, and prove to our boss (or ourselves) that we add value. And on the weekends it’s brunch, then a birthday party, then errands,  then we wake up Monday exhausted only to start the cycle all over again.

Doing- Solving problems, completing tasks, meeting people, action items

Being- Mindful, being present, quiet, restful, free

Finding a balance is paramount for a mindful and healthy lifestyle. Imagine a see-saw with two images of you on it, the work you and the relaxed you. Who is flying high and who has their butt on the ground?

But how?

So much of it comes from confidence and self-worth. Knowing that it’s ok to log off at 5 pm without repercussions. Knowing that it is ok to take a 30-minute lunch break to sit in the sun and eat a sandwich. Alternatively, it’s also ok to just Netflix and chill. So many clients tell me they feel guilty when they zone out on the TV. I find that perfectly healthy and normal in our go go go culture. It boils down to knowing that you deserve rest, you have boundaries, you need ‘me’ time. 

One of the best pieces of advice I received when I moved to NYC was, “The chicest RSVP is ‘no’”. Because everyone goes to everything, you want to leave a little mystery. Also, you need that downtime! It’s ok to say no to an event. You can’t please everyone, and if they are good friends they will understand when you just have too much on your plate. Clients often say, ‘but they expect me to be there!’, well do they expect you to live a long and healthy life? If you are pooped, simply pass! 

Of course, it’s always important to listen to your body. Recently my tote bag was stolen from my shopping cart at Target.. It was empty but what if my phone, wallet, and car keys had been in there? I felt violated and noticed that for the rest of the day I was going, going, going. I was avoiding. I finally sat down, took a deep breath, and felt the fear and release it. It slowed me down, I connected with my body and emotions, and I processed the event. I was ‘doing’ to avoid connecting to self. Does that sound familiar?

Put it into Practice:

Are you a workaholic? 

The first step is to figure out why. (Psssst- a Life Coach can help with that!)

Try stopping a few times a day. Even add a calendar reminder or a note on your desk. Stop, breathe, stretch, and walk outside if possible. Don’t pick up your phone! 

Finish your work day at a decent hour and find your routine. Gym or yoga after work? Make dinner for the family? TV off at 10? Routines are a wonderful way to find that being and doing balance. 

Meditate

I know, I know, I see all the eye rolls, but guess what, it works. Jesus did it. Buddha did it. Tina Turner and 50 Cent do it! It works. It’s the most ‘being’ you can be. I love using Insight Timer and either listening to a guided meditation or using the timer for ten minutes of connection. But all you need is yourself and a quiet space. Add a deep breath, and voila. You’re off.  And if you need help learning more about meditation, I am here for you.